Victoria’s Secret or Harry & David?
by chiroho
Summary: TV Show Episode Title Challenge - December - The Golden Girls: Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas - 3rd story in the "Being" series with Sienna27 - This time Hotch struggles to find an appropriate Christmas gift for Emily.


**Victoria's Secret or Harry & David?**

PROMPT: The Golden Girls - Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

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**A/N**: I own nothing. Quite literally. Well, that may be something of an exaggeration. This story is dedicated to **Sienna27**'s version of Emily because, well, just read it already. It'll make sense when you do.

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_**Being Aaron Hotchner and Being Emily Prentiss – Story 3  
**_

'Twas the night before Christmas.

Okay, so it isn't really the night before Christmas. If I were to be pedantic, which is Reid's specialty, it's actually the night before the night before the night before Christmas, but I've had that stupid poem running around in my mind ever since Reid had spent the last fifteen minutes of our case review meeting going on _ad nauseam_ about every single detail of it. He'd even dug up some sort of Star Trek version of the damn thing, though I don't understand how it could be Star Trek when there was no Kirk or Spock. It only seemed to include something called Queue and a guy named John Luke. When the heck were they ever on Star Trek?? Still, Emily had seemed to enjoy it, so I hadn't arbitrarily sent Reid to requalify on his physicals just to get five minutes of my life back.

I digress though, because while it may not be the night before Christmas, it's definitely turning into the NIGHTMARE before Christmas simply because I have no idea what to get for Emily. I mean, I'd pretty much groped her right over there on my couch a week ago, that red sweater brought back _so_ many good memories, which means some sort of gift is appropriate – especially because of what happened when we went back to her place that evening. And no, I'm not going to say anything about that. Those memories are between myself and the lovely Ms. Prentiss. Although, I have placed them in the tre-freakin'-mendous category.

Anyway, so I'm sitting here after nine at night, trying to figure out what the heck to get the woman of my dreams. And fantasies. Wicked good fantasies. Mmmm ….

Aaron! Keep your mind on track. You can think about that all you want when you get home, okay?

So, present. Hmm. Surfing the web seems the best bet at this point, so I fire up Internet Explorer. Although, now that the FBI home page is staring me in the face, I have no idea where to start. What sort of present does Emily deserve? See, it's a nightmare!

Emily. What does Emily like? Well, I know she likes lacy underwear, so I guess there is Victoria's Secret. Let's see, this looks interesting – the 'Angel of the Month' club. Oh, okay, it's kind of like one of those 'wine of the month' clubs except in this case it's a new set of underwear each month.

Okay, so what does this 'club' actually entail? Wow! Some of those underwear sets look …

I shoot a glance over at the bull pen. No, I'm not nervous! Fortunately, I seem to be the last here. Phew! Wouldn't want anyone walking in while I'm checking out the Victoria's Secret web site. Now that could lead to all sorts of questions I'd prefer not to answer.

Back to the gift for Emily. That is what I'm supposed to be doing, isn't it?

Well, although some of those underwear sets would be just … outstanding on Emily, I don't know that I'd be able to convince her that it was a gift for her. Crap. Oh well, I guess I can always have her model that gift in my dreams.

Mmmmmmm.

Oh, right. Present.

So, what else does Emily like? Chocolate! Can't go too far wrong with chocolate. Where would I get it though? Maybe Harry & David? Bummer! All they have is this 'fruit of the month club' stuff. There isn't a 'chocoholic of the month' club. And I'm pretty sure fruit won't work. I mean, what if the fruit gets delivered while we're on a case? Then it would be rotting on her steps. Not really what you call ideal is it?

So, not Harry & David, and not Victoria's Secret. What else? Coffee! I _know_ that Emily likes coffee.

Let's see, I'll just search for 'coffee of the month' and see what pops up. Hmm, Caribou Coffee. I think they're local to DC. Interesting stuff here, though Emily is really more of a give-me-my-damn-coffee-or-I'll-rip-your-head-off kind of girl in the morning. So maybe not all that frou-frou stuff.

What else?

I look over at the clock. After 10 already. How did it get so late? Oh yeah, half an hour on the Victoria's Secret site. Oops!

Maybe there's another sort of 'gift of the month' club I could look at. Okay, help me out here Google!

Let's see. Wine? No. Never home enough to drink it. Cheese? Olive Oil? Pizza? Steak? No, not food. That's just a bad idea for the whole rotting on the steps reason. Flowers? Nope, that would wilt if she wasn't home. Cigar? Not for Emily. I've never smelled any smoke on her – just roses, and occasionally lavender. Movie? Maybe …

Hmmm, what's this. A 'Pajama of the Month' club by SiennaWear? Can't say I've ever heard of them, but I do seem to remember seeing an awfully large draw full of pajamas at Emily's place. Maybe this is worth checking out …

Okay, in the winter they send flannel, while in the summer it's shorts and a tank. Oh God, Emily in tiny little shorts and a tank in bed!

Breathe, Aaron! Breathe!

Wow. That was a close one. I think I almost had a cardiac arrest!

Okay, back to the task at hand. The pajamas are seasonal, which is good. And they won't rot on the steps if she's not home when the package arrives. All I need is a size. I'm pretty sure I remember that from peeling off that sweater the other night … mmmmm.

Oh, right. Size. Okay, that's in. Seems like they have the December one in stock, and if I choose priority overnight for the first one she'll get it on Christmas Eve. It even has little white snowflakes on a fuzzy blue background. Perfect!

Now, to checkout. Billing address? Okay. Shipping address? Like I need to look that up!

Do they take American Express? Good, wouldn't have wanted to shop there if they didn't. And, done!

Now that's classy. They even allow you to print out a special certificate you can enclose in a Christmas card. Another wonderful use for the high quality photo printers we have here in the BAU.

Whew! Emily's present done, so it's time to go home and dream about the Victoria's Secret catalogue, and hot pants and tank tops. All on Emily. Is there a better dream a man could have?

I don't think so!

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_A/N 2: So, if you didn't guess already, the in-joke here is that **Sienna27 **has a kind of a fixation on Emily's sleepwear, and it shows up in just about every story she writes. And seeing as though she and I seem to be planning to write this whole back and forth first person series, I figured that it would be appropriate to have "my" Hotch play with "her" Emily. And that meant sleepwear just had to come into the picture. Could anyone think of a more perfect gift? Also, her muse needed some cheering up, so I figured that having this would be a way to do that. :)_

_Oh, and if you're looking for one of her stories in which Emily's pajamas come up, just pick - well pretty much any of them! Though, as an example, you could check out **Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace**, which is just such a wonderfully melancholy story, with a bit of light at the end._


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